Pockets

There are too many of them.

I mean seriously, how many pockets do you need?

I only noticed this the other day when I had to actually weigh the pros and cons of each of the 7 pockets on my uniform, as my phone was yet to be placed in one. I mean, it couldn't just go in with my glasses case, that would be terribly unconfortable. And if it went with my money on the other innerbreast (breasts...) pocket then there was the possibility that, on answering a phone call, some of my precious coppers could infact fall get caught amongst my clammy fingers and the phone, resulting in them departing from their home and falling to the ground. Then what would happen if the various raw meats and stain removers I was purchasing, for reasons I am not at liberty to discuss, came to a princly sum of £10.01?! I would have to pay with another fiver and then aquire £4.99 of change, which would most certainly leave no room in my pocket for my phone. So those 2 were out of the question.

There were 3 cantidates left on my blazer, one of which was useless, as putting a phone in an upper pocket is just ridiculous. So now I could put it into either my trouser pockets, which is far easier to get to and more confortable but could easily fall out, or my lower blazer pockets. So it would seem obvious to put it into my blazer pocket, but what if I take my blazer off? I wouldn't take my trousers off with my phone in, as that seems less acceptable in society, and less likely to get a completely unjust slap in the face.

So my dilemma is obvious here. In the end I threw my phone at a passing car and cried for half an hour, but that's besides the point. I think we need to break free from this pocket-centric society that our lives are slowly being corrupted by and free ourselves from their ever tightening grip over our small belongings and drifting hands.

I say limit yourself to only 2 pockets. Oh. But then where is my glasses case go...ok, like maybe 3 or 4, but seriously, no more, that's just silly.